there is no end

8:11 PM

Honestly, this is all frustratingly overwhelming and crazy. But I'm being patient. I know its the only way things will work out. I don't want to be patient! But I know I need to be if I want things to be ok.

You know what. Everyone around me, EVERYONE is having drama. Freaking everyone. I just wonder if they go as crazy as me. This morning, my friend called me at 1am to talk about something. Everyday, someone's telling me something new. Some situation would change. Someone would be happy. Someone would be sad. Someone would be confused. I can hardly keep up.

And me. For once, I'm getting signs that are directed exactly to me. And no one else. But there's still a chance I could be wrong. But omg, I don't want to be wrong.

I'm so frustrated about everything that I can't eat probably. I'm sick. And I'm losing weight. I have no problem with the last one though. And I'm probably losing cos of all the exercising. I need clarity, certainty. Something concrete. The only thing I had that was solid has crumbled.

I'm scared above everything. I'm giving advice to the people around me, but at the same time I'm so screwed up. There are people that could probably help me, but I don't want to tell them in case I'm wrong. Cos if I start talking about it, asking for help, then it becomes a big deal. Then if I'm wrong, it'll be all awkward.

God, please help this hopeless soul.

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VICTORIA Hannah Kirsten
051093
Judo
Catholic Junior College

Insecure to the point of insanity. That's me. Plays guitar and piano. Is absolutely catholic. Loves Tokio Hotel. Would like to learn Na'vi. Shops too much. And overdoses on daydreaming. Find me on: facebook

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