Bubbling in an inferno.

9:39 PM

I was right. 100% right. I really should know when not to doubt myself. Sigh. I guess the signs were all there but I ignored it. I WANTED to ignore it. I mean, I really didn't want anything to be different. Now it is, very different. It's a problem. I really want everything to be okay.

I'm scared. I am. I think after today, things might get better. But it makes no difference to the fact that things have changed. Its switched, in fact.

I'm struggling to tame my emotions. They keep jumping out at me when I'm not focusing on anything. I'd start thinking about it, then I'd get all depressed and all that shit. I hate it.

For once in my life, I'm actually trying to make a mature decision. I mean, I don't want all my problems before to be just problems. I want them to be lessons. So that maybe this time, I'd know better what to do. What's safe to do and what absolutely cannot happen.

I hate myself. I'm not exactly making the problem any simpler, but I can't. I'm not gonna hold out on this problem. I'm being completely honest to myself, I can't lie about this sortta thing.

So for now, I'm in a state of limbo. A state I often find comforting on the surface, but once anyone starts to dig in, the building crumbles. So this state is only absolutely, temporary.

What and need. Two completely different things.

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VICTORIA Hannah Kirsten
051093
Judo
Catholic Junior College

Insecure to the point of insanity. That's me. Plays guitar and piano. Is absolutely catholic. Loves Tokio Hotel. Would like to learn Na'vi. Shops too much. And overdoses on daydreaming. Find me on: facebook

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